itssexualhour:

My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms  23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed

(Source: itssexualhour, via heart)

feverto:

when you know something doesnt fit in the fridge but you force the door shut and let it fall out on someone else

(via phobias)

instahot:

you know that quiet girl in class?

yeah she goes home and makes fun of you all on tumblr

(via pizza)

zacwells:

Scooby Doo is the most useless member of the scooby doo team why is the show named after him, the show should be called Velma

(via lamelohan)

me: i want to draw

me: *starts drawing* i don't want to do this anymore